a long ride home
I was driving my friend Sarah and her brother home from drama last night. Nothing big, they live about five minutes from me. So, to save gas - and because I completely love these guys - we had started a carpool.
Between their Mom being sick and the idea that they're moving four hours away to a place most of us around here have never heard of, these guys have been going through a lot.
It's been months since I've gone more then three days without seeing Sarah. I haven't gone a week for over a year. These guys have become as much a part of my life as daily showers and meals, impossible to live without. I honestly don't even want to TRY to imagine what it'll be like without them.
But it seems I won't have to. Its going to happen, whether I like it or not. After classes are over in two weeks, the Whitby's are going home to GA. Sure, they'll be around to visit, but like Matt said, it WILL be different.
I wasn't the who broke down though. Halfway through the thirty minute drive home, Matt started crying. He said that he just found some people that really understood him (they had just moved here from PA three years ago) and now they were leaving everything again. He was conveinced that he wouldn't ever find anyone one else and that he would never be happy again.
I rolled my eyes, he had done this before.... it was a simple matter. Just inform him that this how God wants things to go and that he would find more friends, he's too great of a kid not to.
It didn't work. So, I deployed argument B. This one took some work because I had never had to use it before. I told him that sometimes we have to do something we truley don't want to simply because God want's us to.
I couldn't get him to see that God didn't want us to dwell in our own comfort zone. How are we supposed to grow if we don't veer out into the unknown? How can we expect others to learn about him, if were not willing to go out and show them?
Matt hit me with a hard blow, "You're not moving," he grumbled.
I was ready for that, "I have too," I snapped back, "and I've many other things I seriously didn't want to."
The ride home was quiet after that, except for Matt's crying. I could see where he was coming from, I wanted to cry too.
It wasn't until I had dropped them off and went home that it hit me. Had I ever really been uncomfortable? Sure, I moved... to my Grandma's...... only fifteen minutes further from town. Yeah, I've stood up for what I knew was right, but that was when my friends were there and I had support.
This kinda scared me. Did I not care enough about God that I hid under my covers with my "get out of hell free card"? Or maybe, I never had the chance to step out into the unknown and make a difference..... I prayed for the second excuse. Though I'm sure I've had many chances.
Now I feel useless, like a spoiled apple. I don't want to walk around around happy-go-lucky. I don't want to go to heaven and have Jesus look at my life and say, "....Well, at least you were comfortable..." I want something more.
So my prayer today is that God gives me another chance to step out of my comfort zone, and for the courage to do so. A scary thought, but with God... I can handle it.
posted by Crys @ 27.9.06
0 Comments
