3rd Strike

Ok, more like strike number four... but I don't really consider losing my job to start with as a first strike. No, I haven't officially lost my job. I've only lost all hours because the shop isn't getting any business. I'm only working one shift this week. This means that I'm not making enough and that I'm leaving my perfect job to find one that actually supports me. If only I could find one.
I don't understand. I pray and tithe and volunteer my time, yet all I get is more bad.
Perry once said to tith, its the one thing God wants to test him with, and we'll be blessed. I've tried that. I've been dishing out my ten percent since November (ya, ok, I haven't been doing this for long) and the only place I find my self is two hundred dollars away from grabbing my much-needed passport, yet another 300 in the hole with doc bills and missing the ten percent of my paycheck that I would have if I'd avoided the offering plate.
I know it'll work out... it always does. But even then, it was a lot smaller things to work out. This time, its bigger than I've ever seen.
Sure, God is big enough. I've had that mind-set drilled into my noggin since before I could multiply, but nothing's changing. I've been waiting and bills are piling up. Maybe God doesn't want to fix this. Maybe he's tired of my screwups and has decided to let me figure this out on my own.
I keep telling myself to trust him, he has it all figure out, but I'm not sure if I have that much faith. Seems like I dried up that well some time ago.